Resources for Patients & Families

After birth trauma or NICU exposure, many women lack the language to describe what they're carrying. Sometimes you sense something is wrong, but you can't name it. The words below may help. You don't have to use all of them. One that fits is enough.

If you're trying to describe the experience:

• My birth didn't go the way it was supposed to.

• I felt like I wasn't safe.

• I felt like my baby wasn't safe.

• I didn't get to hold my baby when I was supposed to.

• I keep going back to that moment in my head.

• My body remembers it even when I'm not thinking about it.

• I haven't felt like myself since.

If you're trying to describe how you feel now:

• I'm exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix.

• I feel disconnected from my baby and I don't know why.

• I'm scared something else is going to go wrong.

• I keep checking on my baby even when I know they're fine.

• I feel guilty for not feeling the way I thought I would.

• I feel angry and I don't know who to be angry at.

• I'm fine — and that scares me too.

If you're trying to ask for help:

• I think what I went through was traumatic.

• I'm not okay and I need someone to take it seriously.

• I want to talk to someone who understands birth trauma specifically.

• The standard postpartum check-in didn't fit what I'm carrying.

• I need help finding the right kind of care.

You don't have to know what's wrong before you ask for help. Saying "something doesn't feel right" is enough to start.